"How Many Times""
How many times must I ask why
and how long will I cry?
How many times shall I remember
the shock, the anguish that still lingers?
How many times do I bargain
my life for your life, again and again?
How many times shall I pray to wake
from this nightmare that is no mistake?
How many times must I beg to hear
your giggles and to feel your presence near?
How many times do I disbelieve
and to myself I surely deceive?
How many times must I ask who I am
my future uncertain, not at all my plan?
How many times will I not want to wake,
fearing l may certainly crumble and break?
How many times shall I ask this same, this same
question and continue to play this denial game?
How many times will I think what could have been
hurting so badly just to remember back when?
How many times do I say your name,
since April 13th, nothing is the same?
How many times will the holidays pass,
you are not with us, my mind does harass?
How many times will I use your death,
my excuse when I can't catch my breath?
How many times do I become so angry,
thinking what my future might be?
How many times must I question your dying,
feeling insane but I can't help trying?
How many times will I ask God over again,
where was your Guardian Angel, Amen??
How many times do I stand at your grave and grieve,
because I am forever your mom, a mother bereaved.
BACKGROUND DESIGN AND APPRECIATION